Soup Assault. Another lunch at jungle [8]
By lainie at 23 September, 2008, 6:52 pm
It’s a busy week here at jungle [8] so the staff was forced to bring notebooks and binders to the lunch table today. What can we say, business as usual. Or at least that was the plan. Then someone busted out a glass of red, a couple glasses of white and it was over. Before long we were trading horror stories from our years in the service industry to shrieks and hollers.
I, Danny B., just quit a couple jobs waiting tables and got a bit heartfelt when talking about the nervous breakdown I nearly suffered on my last day of work. I got the right amount of sympathy and felt the healing process has begun. Sarah K., who still bartends, had some good stories about awful guests and the lengths servers would go to avoid them. But it was an anonymous jungle [8]‘er who stole the show with her “Soup Assault” story.
When, we’ll call her Cathy, when Cathy was 17, as the story goes, she had a manager that would not get off her back. Too much lipstick, not enough lipstick, things of this nature. After finally being pushed too far Cathy decided to get even. She filled a bowl with soup and then cooled it with ice cubes. Then, during the busiest part of the evening, she dumped it over her boss, said goodbye and walked out forever. Two weeks later she was served with a notice to appear in court. The charge: assault with soup. The charge was later thrown out because, of all things, Cathy was able to prove the alleged assault was premeditated because she had put ice cubes in the soup. I know, how bizarre.
Anyway I’m glad it worked out for her. I still regret doing nothing to the table that came in on Christmas Eve and emotionally tortured me for two and a half hours. Even though their $400 bill was complimented entirely (after they meticulously complained about absolutely everything) they still felt the need to tell my boss I had ruined Christmas for them. Let me tell you something: if your family meets once a year and you let you 23-year-old waiter spoil your evening because he brings out a Paradise Martini instead of a Pomegranate Martini you belong to a hideous bloodline. There, I’m glad I got that off my chest. Ok, it’s time to get back to work. The healing has begun.
Assault with soup! Love it…
I have noticed that detestable satan-spawn seem to be in the habit of dining out more often than other normal people. I think it’s because they can’t stand sitting across from each other at home alone.
I think a reality show about the service industry is in order. Maybe guests would think twice about trying to order a margarita with a half salt and half sugar rim if they knew an entire kitchen staff would later be laughing at their very existence.